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Load More...Kidnapper: [on phone] we have your sister
Me: oh no!
Kidnapper: the ransom is 10 grand
Me: pass
Kidnapper: b-but she’s your family
Me: we haven’t talked in like 10 months
Kidnapper: you could call her too
Me:
Kidnapper:
Me: nice try Mom
Dad: [in background] did it work?[buying something online that in the pre-internet era I would’ve had to get out of bed, shower, get dressed, and leave the house to do]
Website: you have to go get your wallet now
Me: this is bullshit[CHECKS DRIVING TIME TO CHESAPEAKE BAY]. 🦀 🦀🍴🍴
Chesapeake Bay blue crabs are at their most plentiful in seven years, scientists say https://t.co/SUr5tQgYiK
Wife: we can’t curse around the kids anymore.
Me: what should I say instead of bull-
Wife: shhh say snake instead.
Me: [whispers] this is snakeshit.
Category Archives: Kids
Tricky Business
I am learning that there comes a point in your children’s lives where they start taking things they hear and experience outside of what you thought of as their sphere of influence, and use them in everyday conversation. I realized … Continue reading
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A Really Useless Engine
Our son is two and a half, and like many toddlers, he enjoys watching the standard toddler/pre-school fare of such TV shows as Yo Gabba Gabba, Dinosaur Train, the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, (God help me) Barney the Dinosaur, and Thomas … Continue reading
