My good friend Ben Kepple periodically goes through his logs, pulls out keyword searches people used to find his blog, and answers the questions put to the search engine, with often funny results. This inspired me to dig into my own logs to see just how people manage to find my blog (translation: “I thought Ben’s idea was funny, so I shamelessly stole it”).
It has been a while since the last time I did it, so I figure that it’s a good time to dig into the ol’ log files and see just what kinds of odd questions will bring visitors to this site.
Keywords: drew henson was suppose to be tom brady
Well, if that’s true, I’d say he has officially failed quite miserably. What’s not to love about Tom Brady? He’s a fellow alumnus of the University of Michigan, has three Super Bowl rings, was MVP of two of those Super Bowls, has awards and honors coming out the wazoo, and has dated multiple super models. Drew Henson? Not so much. Despite the hype surrounding him at Michigan, which he never really delivered on, he hasn’t really amounted to much. I always said that the only reason everyone cared so much about him is because he had a multi-million-dollar contract with the New York Yankees baseball team, and also was supposed to be a good football player. In reality, he ended up failing miserably at both sports. The hype at Michigan caused Lloyd Carr to go to a kind of two-quarterback system (I hate those) that screwed Tom Brady out of a lot of playing time (and Brady was the better QB at Michigan, too, but didn’t get anywhere near the same hype). Then, after Yankees owner George Steinbrenner paid Henson $20 million to give up football and start playing baseball (I can’t fault Henson much for this, I guess — there aren’t a whole lot of things I wouldn’t do for $20 million), Michigan got saddled with the disaster known as John Navarre. Then Henson crashed and burned as a baseball player, getting cut by the Yankees, and decided to try football again, getting cut by a rather staggering number of NFL teams. So, to recap: Brady has Super Bowl rings and MVP honors, is regarded as one of the best QBs in the NFL, and has supermodels throwing themselves at him; Henson, on the other hand, well, he has lots of time to watch Brady on TV, and hopefully, he has some of that 20 mil socked away for a rainy day.
Keywords: what if i don’t like law school
My suggestion would be not to go anymore. It costs you three years of your life and a crap load of money — if you don’t like it, you’re wasting both. I really liked law school, and I like being a lawyer. Even though i like being a lawyer, it’s a demanding profession that can make your life miserable at times. If you don’t like it, your life will be miserable all the time, and that’s just not worth it.
Keywords: i hate charlie weiss
Well, it’s nice to see I have Notre Dame alumni reading my blog.
Keywords: clostridium difficile joke
You know, my undergraduate major was biology, and before I became a lawyer, I was looking to devote my life to science. As a result, I made, and continue to appreciate, a good number of geeky biology jokes. But I don’t think there’s any kind of joke to be made about Clostridium difficile.
Keywords: using chunks of concrete to build a house
I’m definitely not any kind of expert in construction. My dad is the rare kind of guy who is good at do-it-yourself building projects, but he’s an engineer. His home improvement skills didn’t filter down too well to me, although I can manage minor projects just fine (for example, I was quite impressed with myself when I managed to install my own programmable thermostat, which required using a drill and hollow wall anchors, without any bodily or property damage). Still, I know enough to know that a house built with “chunks of concrete” is not likely to be a very good house. In fact, building a house with “chunks” of anything is likely to be fraught with peril.
Keywords: is eating meat bad?
I don’t think so. If eating meat was bad, it wouldn’t taste so good. But there are a variety of viewpoints on the matter. For example, my friend Heather, the vegan cardiologist, will, as you might expect, tell you that eating meat is bad. Given that I’m an intelligent person, I should be taking Heather’s word for it, because she’s a cardiologist, and should know better. If a cardiologist tells you something can be bad for your heart, it’s probably not a good idea to ignore that. But I’m stubborn like that.
But then again, people are different. It’s hard to say what’s good — or bad — for everyone.. If you are in good health and eat it in moderation, with lots of vegetables and healthy stuff, then it’s probably fine. If you never exercise, have high cholesterol and triglycerides, heart problems, and all that stuff, then maybe it’s time to lay off the steak before you drop dead.
Keywords: claw problems in dogs following allergic reactions to turkey feed
Who the hell gives a dog turkey feed? This guy probably also wonders why his turkeys won’t eat the dog food he puts out for them.
And what, pray tell, does he mean by “claw problems”?
Keywords: drinking beer and eating pizza lowers fat
Good God, don’t I wish. That’s a health food program I could get behind.
Keywords: how did bo deal with problem football players at michigan?
If you want some good stories about that, then I would suggest Bo’s Lasting Lessons: The Legendary Coach Teaches the Timeless Fundamentals of Leadership which was co-authored by Coach Schembechler and John U. Bacon. It’s a book every Michigan football fan should read. And if you ever get the chance to see John Bacon speak, then do that, too.
Keywords: i still haven’t found what i am looking for
Well, maybe next time, then.
