Still Haven't Found What You're Looking For?

My good friend and former right-hand-man Ben Kepple will, every so often, pore through his log files for amusing, noteworthy, or just plain bizarre search engine queries that lead people to his blog. I have to say that I've often wondered what brings new visitors to the hallowed grounds of geoffbrown.net, and so, inspired by the Great Ranter, I decided to check into my own log files to see what search keywords led people to the site. Turns out that there are several amusing, noteworthy, or just plain bizarre keywords that lead people here, too. I'll share some with you, unedited.

Keywords: geoff brown (Google)

Ah, the direct approach. Well, I suppose that makes sense.

Keywords: cooley law school hate (Google)

Hey, no reason to hate Cooley Law School. I can very honestly say that I wouldn't be where I am today without Cooley. True, I ended up transferring to the University of Michigan Law School, but one does not turn down an opportunity to attend one of the ten best law schools in the country lightly, especially when one also received their undergraduate degree from the U. And without Cooley, graduation from Michigan Law would have been far less likely for me.

Keywords: new year resulotion (Google)

Boy, did you ever come to the wrong place. Many years ago, I made a new year's resolution to never make a new year's resolution ever again. It's the only one I've never broken.

Keywords: marijuana pepsi jackson (Google)

I would just love to know what those three words even have to do with one another.

Keywords: lawyer give witness ham sandwich (Google)

Well, the witness might appreciate it, but I'm thinking opposing counsel will object to the apparent attempt to influence a witness. Of course, the ham sandwich might be evidence, in which case giving it to a witness would be appropriate, if the witness was called to testify about it. Either way, I'm not sure how that got anyone to this website.

Keywords: amy premo (Google)

Okay, who the hell is Googling my girlfriend?!

Keywords: cleaning my cat's ears (Google)

Oh, you poor, poor bastard. That is not a fun task, and let me tell you, it's even less fun for the cat. The only more difficult job is giving pills to a cat, especially when the pills need to be given twice a day for two weeks. And the cat is timid. And quickly learns to fear your approach because she knows damn well that every time you pick her up, you're going to try and stick some stupid pill down her gullet.

Keywords: graduated from north farmington high school in 1993 (Google)

Hey, me too!

Keywords: ripoff detroit college of law (Google)

Oh, I wouldn't rip DCL off if I were you -- there's a bunch of lawyers there, and the last thing you want to do is rip off a bunch of people who have the time, resources, and skill to ask the courts to do something about it.

Keywords: last comic standing geoff brown (Google)

Really, people. I am not that guy. Really. I mean it.

Keywords: geoff brown novelist (Google)

Sorry, that's not me, either.

Keywords: geoffrey brown lawyer (Google)

Okay, now that is me.

Keywords: don't go to law school (Google)

Sorry, Dad -- you're a few years too late with this one.